WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: NEW ZEALANDThe New Zealand Academy of Spellcraft is situated in an undetectable location in the bush lands of South Island so incredibly difficult to find due to its surroundings’ constant changes in appearance that even repeat visitors often have trouble finding the school. Muggleborn students are raging fanatics of the All Blacks, and they have slowly converted the rest of the student population who used to thumb their nose at the mention of rugby. However, quidditch remains immensely popular, with students often sneaking out under the cover of night to play matches in the dark because it is “more challenging, and therefore, more fun,” despite the drastic increase in the number of injuries and dents in trees due to rogue bludgers growing slightly panicked in the dark. The school prides itself on its large and prestigious herbology department; international witches and wizards often take on extended environmental studies at the academy, so students are always on the lookout for lost foreigners stumbling around. When students graduate, they are presented with Pounamu ornaments that are embedded into the handles of their wands as a reminder for them to always be at peace with their surroundings.
I didn’t know how this post was going to end so I assumed the cat started organizing the crayons????
DID YOU KNOW THAT “HECK” IS A COMBINATION OF “HELL” AND “FUCK” A WORD CREATED OUT OF TWO BAD WORDS THAT IS TREATED AS THE LAMEST WORD EVER WHEN IN REALITY IT IS DOUBLE BAD
do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared
All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.
This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.
This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:
Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.
Who would you want as a partner if you were stuck in a real life survival situation?
(…) Thomas because we’d sit down and smoke cigarettes and be like ‘Oh, okay’.
- Kaya Scodelario
social media in beacon hills (3/?) stydia edition.
i fully believe that when Lily first introtuced James to the Bond movies, James went around saying ‘Potter, James Potter’ to everyone and anyone he saw
Mike Wazowski joins the Avengers.
THOR’S HAMMER IS BLOCKING HIS FACE I AM DYING
The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
Some more funny book dedications.